Three months ago, I never would have imagined that I would be having a brand-new baby girl due on Halloween. After three pregnancy tests confirmed that you were indeed real and not just a figment of my imagination—I was stunned. Your father did not believe it was so—even after three pregnancy tests. We both were in shock because this was not planned. But despite the unforeseen circumstances, we only had one choice and that is to love you and welcome you into the family.
We just knew you would be a boy and your father made sure that your big sister and big brother understood they were having a baby brother. So, when it finally came time for us to have your five-month ultrasound we all were in shock. The ultrasound tech shouted, “It’s a girl!” “Wait. What….” I thought that I was dreaming. Your dad had convinced me that you were a boy. I even had a name picked out. The perfect name– Assad Talib. In that moment, I didn’t care whether you were a girl or a boy, just that you were healthy and that you were indeed. But I would be lying if I was bummed out about having to think of a new name.
When we got home and informed your siblings that you were a girl and not a boy—mixed emotions appeared. Assata, your big sister was elated and started jumping up and down. Tafari, your big brother calmly said, “baby brother.” “No, baby sister,” I explained. “Baby brother” he continued. That was about two weeks ago and he has now come around and understands that you are his baby sister. He even kisses my tummy.
We can’t wait for your arrival Zahara Evelyn. I named you Zahara because it means shining; flower. Names speak life into people and my hope is that you will shine in whatever you set out to do and be as beautiful as a flower in bloom. Until we meet my love, keep jumping all around in my tummy. Mommy loves you, more than you will ever know. See you soon baby girl.
I am expecting baby number three in October and my family and I are elated. But something about being pregnant is bothering me as always—other people. Yes. You heard me right. Other people, strangers even and their comments.
“I just know you are having a girl because your nose isn’t spreading.” Excuse me, did you really just say that to me strange lady at the gym. The nerve! Here’s an even better one. “If you get ugly then you are definitely having a boy because I was ugly with my son and with my daughter I stayed pretty.” Well thank you for your kind words lady I just met outside my best friend’s house. It goes on and on. “Girl, you are carrying that baby low so I know you are having a boy.” Thanks woman in the supermarket checking me out for your genius observation. What would I do without your medical expertise.
Why is it that when you are pregnant everyone becomes a doctor or a gender specialist–all of a sudden everyone is an M.D.? I just want to say so badly. “So when did you become a doctor?” “Are you a certified gender specialist?” This behavior goes on with every pregnancy and people never stop. There seems to be no such thing as violating people’s privacy when your belly is sticking out—go figure right.
Even in my household I have to deal with the finest gender specialist in the world—my husband. From day one he swore up and down that we were having a boy. He even convinced the kids that they were having a baby brother. Hell, he eventually had me sold. So sold that I picked out a boy name and I thought I was all set. Then fast forward to Monday of this week and we are at the doctor’s office for our 20-week sonogram and are told that it’s a girl. Well, back to the drawing board. Now I have to think of a girl’s name. “Maria, Sarah, Mia—why me?”
Thinking of a name is a very mundane task in my family. We don’t just think of names—we research names. The name has to have a certain origin and meaning because we believe that names can reveal who your child will become. For example, the name Keyon means “unclear.” I mean would you want a child that is unclear? It doesn’t exactly sound to promising does it. “Meet my son Keyon, he is the unclear one.”
Sometimes I imagine that I am a celebrity and I would have this creative license to name my child whatever the wind blows in. I don’t know how this started but celebrities clearly seem to feel that they have a special right to pick the craziest names you have ever heard of. I secretly think that there is even a competition for who can come up with the wackiest name. I bet they give out trophy’s and even hold a secret ceremony.
One of the first that I can remember to start this celebrity wackiest name trend was Gwyneth Paltrow. She tipped the wacky name chart over with naming her daughter “Apple.” I can only imagine this name being suitable for the entertainment industry or the food industry. Even the Apple computer company may frown on this name. Wait… I have an idea. With a name like Apple she should totally start an apple farm and use her mom’s celebrity status to brand it and expand it into chains in every major city. I mean after all, an apple sold by Apple sounds trustworthy and honest to me. Just my two cents.